During your planning process there will most likely come a time where you are stressed out, overwhelmed and frankly just over it all.
We have all been there, we are being pulled in so many different directions. Expectations during this phase in your life are high and very few are immune to the negative effects that these expectations have on you and your day! All of a sudden all of the butterflies and excitement over planning your dream day are gone and you are ready for this part to be over and done with.
Stress and Planning Agony are the most common themes of weddings these days. Which is not exactly what you had thought would be the overwhelming feeling of your engagement, right?
But there is good news!! With a little intentionality that theme can be avoided. So today we are diving into the different traps that our egos are inadvertently setting during our wedding planning.
This one stings a bit but you have to put yourself in the shoes of the wedding guest. Be honest. You know that you have been there. This day is not going to be as important to the majority of the people that are coming as it is to you. Yes, your guest want the best for you and cant wait to celebrate your pending nuptials but they have their own life going on. Their days and weeks are not consumed with wedding planning like yours so there may be times that you feel like their enthusiasm isn’t any where close to yours about this magical day.
THE SOLVE: Acceptance & Grace. By allowing yourself to go into the planning process accepting that this day is truly most important to you and your fiancé, you are giving yourself permission to avoid feeling guilt over scheduling your wedding on a day when your friend has another commitment or when they want to talk about things other than wedding plans. Accepting that you are planning it for YOU to exchange YOUR vows in the fashion that best fits your situation as a couple, lets you kick the pressure that you have been putting on this day to accommodate everyone. You will also need to show a little grace when faced with people who are not as involved in the day as you wish they were. Your relationship will continue long after that day and you don’t want to be the Bride that made it an issue or was too wrapped up in her own plans that she wasn’t a good friend during her engagement.
You are not alone! It is so hard to be surrounded day in and day out with wedding inspiration and not want to incorporate these things into your day. AGGG! Everyday you are adding more pins to your wedding board and your list of DIY’s, vendors and things to do continue to grow. So does your stress and your budget.
It is impossible to recreate much of what we see on Pinterest from the styled shoots on a budget but that doesn’t stop us from setting our sights on that. Before we know it, our expectations have been set and when our expectations aren’t met, we feel annoyance and disappointment.
THE SOLVE: Check Your Ego At Pinterest’s Door. This is a hard one but one that is essential if you are going to avoid this ego trap. You have be willing to figure out your reality here. What is truly important to your love story. Your Ego is going to tell you that “it’s your day and if you want it, then you should have it.” The bad news about that is that often doesn’t fit in with where we stand financially. Start out your planning process with a very clear vision and objective of your day and then hold steadily on to that with the purpose to create your day full of intentional choices. Don’t let all the white noise on Pinterest distract you from your vision.
A good tip for checking in with your consciousness on this is when you see something that you like on Pinterest that you want to incorporate into your day, give your emotions a little test. Are your adding the peonies to your bouquet or that expensive photo booth to your must have list because you think someone will feel like you are so cool for having it? Will you feel judged for not having that as a part of your day? If you are having those thoughts, thats your ego talking, not your reality! So knock that off the list, you don’t need it.
Ask any girl that has been through the wedding planning process and she will tell you that she didn’t realize that planning a wedding would be so hard. That there would be so many unknowns and issues that arise. That everything costs more than the internet says and that no matter how organized you are, you will be overwhelmed. But time and time again, brides go into this season with their heads held high and the attitude that they don’t need help. That they can totally plan a party.
There is a reason that Wedding Planning has become a high price career for many people. They have that party planning gene that a lot of people just don’t have and they have the resources that come along with being in the industry over time. They know the solutions to your problems before they even come up!
THE SOLVE: While we know that not everyone has the funds for hiring a big budget wedding planner, there are options out there for every type of budget to help you during the planning process. Find resources that will help you navigate these unchartered waters. We have listed a couple of our favorite resources for brides working within a budget!
Favorite Wedding Planning Book: A Practical Wedding Planner by Meg Keen
Favorite Overall Planning Tools: Bells Box
Favorite Podcast: Bridechilla
Planning your Dream Day shouldn’t have to involve so much stress (and let’s be honest, money) but inevitably it seems that we fall into our ego traps and before we know it, the process just isn’t that much fun. Finding a little acceptance for who you are and what your reality is will allow you to realize what is just a time suck and distraction for you verses what is really important for your wedding.
So here is your challenge today: Think about some of the areas that your ego may be pushing you to make designs that don’t necessarily align with your truth and eliminate them!
YES! You officially have permissions to knock some of those details that seem to be stressing you out or additions to your day that are costing you more money and energy than you really want to spend.
Do you have any areas that your ego is taking the lead in your planning process? Share with us in the comments!